Thursday, Feb. 13
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Pablo Sandoval was in a hurry due to a personal appointment and politely declined an interview request Thursday afternoon. “I owe you one,” he said before leaving the Giants’ Scottsdale Stadium clubhouse.
You owe me nothing, Pablo. Just play hard. And he looked ready to do just that.
Sandoval’s well-documented struggles with his weight may have ended. Make no mistake, he’s still a big guy. But the oversized gut was gone. His clothes seemed to fit smoothly. Those positive reports on social media about Sandoval’s off-season conditioning appear to have been valid.
Did Sandoval firm himself up because he’s eligible for free agency after this season and wants to cash in big by getting in shape for a productive year? Or was he tired of underperforming (.280 batting average, 26 home runs in 249 games from 2012-2013) and used professional pride to stoke his desire to improve?
We may never know the true answer. Moreover, we won’t know until the season unfolds whether Sandoval’s exercise program truly worked.
But on this day, at least, he passed the eyeball test. Let’s see how he does with his legs, a glove and a bat.
— Chris Haft
Sunday, Dec. 22
SAN FRANCISCO — For a lot of people, the fact that a National Football League game will be played Monday night at Candlestick Park is merely incidental.
The featured performer, as many fans believe, is Candlestick itself, that object of derision which has prompted tidal waves of nostalgia with the approach the 49ers-Falcons game — most likely the last major sporting event held at the 53-year-old park.
The tender feelings fans have expressed toward Candlestick on websites, in newspaper forums and on radio talk shows shouldn’t be misinterpreted as wishes for a revival. Everyone knows the 49ers need a new stadium, which awaits them in Santa Clara, and everybody has long embraced AT&T Park as the Giants’ home since they left Candlestick following the 1999 season.
Why have Candlestick’s final days stirred such emotion? Simple: For Bay Area sports fans, the stadium has become something of a patriarch: Aged, gray, incapable of performing tasks its younger counterparts can, yet somehow imposing due to its history and undeniable strength (example: its resolute response to the Loma Prieta earthquake before Game 3 of the 1989 World Series). His time has come and gone, but the old man shall forever remain a member of the family.
Giants fans are especially prone to these feelings. Because the Giants endured so many abysmal seasons at
Candlestick, and because it was such a trying place for baseball spectators (that’s putting it mildly), those who visited the park regularly — whether to watch Gaylord Perry or Allen Ripley, J.T. Snow or J.R. Phillips — mostly were genuine fans who truly loved the sport, the Giants or both.
To these zealots, Candlestick became oddly special. No wonder that this second and final goodbye to Candlestick has been especially intense for many Giants fans. Essentially, nothing in their lives has changed or will change when Candlestick is demolished. But the patriarch — visible from a safe, happy distance on drives along Highway 101 — will disappear, making that inevitable transition from reality to memory.
Revel in those memories, Giants fans. Celebrate what you saw, what you experienced, what Russ or Lon or Hank or Ron or Jon or Kruk & Kuip told you.
Maybe you’ll attend Monday’s game and revisit a particular spot at the stadium that remains significant. Maybe, like me, you’ll stare at the top row of the upper reserved seats in Section 5, remember sitting there for Game 1 of the National League Championship Series and continue to wonder how Dad got tickets.
And you’ll devour a Polish sausage for old times’ sake.
And though it’s a football crowd, you’ll long to hear that passionate, unbridled roar of the fans, real fans, rise from the stands over and over.
Again, I sense that football will be only incidental for a small but meaningful percentage of people watching Monday’s game, whether they do so at Candlestick or on television.
These will be the folks who’ll behold Candlestick one last time and recall rushing to the players’ parking lot to gaze at Willie Mays’ pink Cadillac, or who got golf-ball-sized goosebumps just watching Mays saunter into the on-deck circle, his uniform as elegant as a tuxedo.
Monday’s game is for them.
It’s also for anybody who thinks the city’s finest spans are the Golden Gate Bridge, the Bay Bridge and Willie McCovey stretching at first base for a throw.
It’s for anyone who refused to leave his or her seat whenever Clark — that’s Jack or Will — was due to bat.
It’s for anybody spellbound by the talents of the Bondses, pere et fil.
It’s for anybody who marveled at Juan Marichal kicking his left leg toward those impossibly high light towers in the middle of his marvelous motion.
It’s for anybody who played Little League, high school baseball or anything in between against one of Jim Davenport’s sons.
It’s for anybody who still can summon Jeff Carter’s voice in one’s internal public-address system.
It’s for anybody who paid 90 cents — NINETY CENTS — to sit in the bleachers.
It’s for people who emptied mothballs from their warmest clothes to attend a game in July or August.
It’s for fans who supported John Montefusco with the same ardor they now reserve for Tim Lincecum.
It’s for folks who loved to debate who was the better closer (Rod Beck or Robb Nen) or double-play combination (Chris Speier/Tito Fuentes or Jose Uribe/Robby Thompson).
It’s for people who, however briefly, ignored Candlestick’s flaws and appreciated the game in front of them.
It’s for everybody who’s focused on what’s important — the present — yet will always treasure the gifts of the past.
— Chris Haft
Monday, Oct. 21
SAN FRANCISCO — Speculation regarding a possible trade involving Giants third baseman Pablo Sandoval completely makes sense.
It’s logical to anticipate that Sandoval will thrive in 2014, the final year of his three-year, $17.15 million contract, to propel himself boldly into free agency. Such a projection also would be flimsy given Sandoval’s performance, which has fluctuated along with his weight. Anyone expecting the switch-hitter to use last October’s World Series Most Valuable Player distinction to launch him closer to stardom must be disappointed. Sandoval, 27, hit .278 this year, sixth among Giants with at least 300 plate appearances. He accumulated 14 home runs, fourth on the team, and 79 RBIs, his third-best career total.
This was Sandoval’s fifth full Major League season. He has gone on the disabled list in each of the last three years without establishing consistency at the plate, though he has become a competent defender. If one is to assume anything about Sandoval’s upcoming season, it’s that he’ll somehow disappoint more than deliver. Hence the buzz, started recently by the Boston Globe’s Nick Cafardo, that the Giants might consider proposals featuring Sandoval. Club management is gradually losing patience with him, as general manager Brian Sabean indicated in his season-ending summary (“The sky’s still the limit. We’re still waiting for that”).
At the same time, Sandoval retains enough cachet to attract multiple suitors. The Giants might be able to include him in a package that would fetch them a serviceable starting pitcher. Any club hoping to bolster its offense would be intrigued by Sandoval, who retains 30-homer, 100-RBI talent. So why don’t the Giants keep him? Again, his production has teased the Giants more than it has satisfied them. Even if he puts together a solid season next year, whoever’s employing him must deal with his impending free agency. If the Giants were to swap Sandoval, they could lean safely on the “better to trade a player a year too early” maxim.
Without Sandoval, the Giants could move Marco Scutaro from second base to third. Scutaro’s unremarkable range wouldn’t be as much of a liability at third, where he’d be asked to cover less ground due to the nature of the position and shortstop Brandon Crawford’s excellence. Filling the vacancy at either second or third could be a challenge, however. The free-agent market at those positions basically consists of Robinson Cano (who probably would ask for the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges, with Alcatraz thrown in) and a bunch of one-year stopgaps in their mid-30s. Perhaps the Giants could ask for a second baseman in any trade involving Sandoval.
Or perhaps the Giants won’t trade Sandoval at all, which many Giants fans likely would prefer. He’ll forever remain popular at AT&T Park, despite — or even because of — his foibles. He’s the Kung Fu Panda; so what if he struggles with his weight? Who doesn’t? Moreover, the promise he flashes when his line drives find gaps or fly over the fence and frustrate Justin Verlander remains tantalizing. So does the potential of an effective Sandoval forming a solid middle of the order with Hunter Pence, Buster Posey and Brandon Belt.
Sandoval will give the Giants much to ponder when they confront the decision to trade or re-sign him. Whether they endure that headache sooner or later remains to be seen.
— Chris Haft
Saturday, Sept. 14, 2013
LOS ANGELES — You can call it creative visualization or positive reinforcement. Hunter Pence called it a “dig-me session.”
Regardless of the term, Pence’s method of studying videos of successful at-bats — particularly those that resulted in home runs — likely helped him and Brandon Belt deliver their titanic performances Saturday in the Giants’ 19-3 rout of the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Pence said that he reviewed footage of himself hitting home runs before he crushed his 476-foot drive at Colorado on Aug. 27. Before that date, he had homered exactly once since July 14. Obviously, Pence was unhappy about the drought. So he reminded himself, visually, how he looked as a power hitter. The power of the mind apparently unleashed the power of the body.
Since then, Pence has hit at a torrid pace. His September numbers include a .407 batting average (22-for-54), four doubles, seven homers and 22 RBIs in 14 games. Saturday, he went 3-for-5 with a career-high seven RBIs.
Noticing that Brandon Belt had gone nearly a month without homering (his last one came on Aug. 15 at Washington), Pence urged his teammate to try the treatment that worked for him. Result: Belt collected five hits and six RBIs against the Dodgers on Saturday, both career highs. Among his hits was his 16th homer, aa two-run poke in the seventh inning.
Said Belt, “I think Hunter always likes to challenge people, make sure they have a positive mindset.”
That’s exactly how Pence saw it. “I just challenged him to keep pushing,” said Pence, who recalled telling Belt, “I want you to have a ‘dig-me’ session.”
As Pence explained, “Sometimes it makes you feel good to see what you’ve done and what you’re capable of.”
The greatest Giant of them all would agree.
“I would go home at night and create what I was going to do the next day,” Willie Mays said in an interview with MLB.com several years ago. “It sounds kind of childish. But if I feel that we’re going to have a good crowd or something, and I want to do something the next day to make sure the crowd enjoyed what I did, well, then I’d look at a couple of films by myself and figure out something that I can do to make them holler. And I would do it.”
It’s staggering, really, that these Giants scored the highest number of runs in a single game at Dodger Stadium.
Consider all the impressive ballclubs and lineups that have performed at Chavez Ravine since the ballpark opened in 1962. The Cubs of Ernie Banks-Billy Williams-Ron Santo. The Big Red Machine. The Giants of Mays-Willie McCovey-Orlando Cepeda, or of Will Clark-Kevin Mitchell-Matt Williams. Any Braves lineup with Hank Aaron in it. Heck, even those Davey Lopes-Steve Garvey-Ron-Cey-Dusty Baker Dodgers clubs. And that’s mentioning just a few.
Pence admitted that a little luck was involved. “We hit a lot of bloops, a lot of jam shots that just fell in,” he said.
Some leftover facts and figures from the Giants’ historic night:
— The Giants’ run total was their highest against Los Angeles since a 19-8 win on April 16, 1962 at Candlestick Park.
— The Dodgers hadn’t allowed this many runs since losing to the Cubs, 20-1, on May 5, 2001 at Wrigley Field.
— This was the Dodgers’ worst home loss since falling 19-2 to the Giants on July 3, 1947 at Ebbets Field.
— Chris Haft
SAN FRANCISCO — Somebody had to do it. George Kontos turned out to be the one.
When Tim Lincecum lasted just 3 2/3 innings Monday, the Giants needed a reliever to consume innings and spare the rest of the bullpen from overwork, particularly with Tuesday’s doubleheader looming. In came Kontos to consume 3 1/3 innings while throwing 63 pitches, both career highs.
Tuesday’s starters for the Giants don’t appear destined to last deep into their respective games. Eric Surkamp was challenged to go five innings in Triple-A, and Barry Zito has pitched six innings or fewer in 11 of his last 12 starts. But manager Bruce Bochy can operate his bullpen freely, thanks to Kontos.
Kontos had never thrown more than 40 pitches in a Major League game. But his background as a starter in the Yankees’ Minor League system helped brace him for Monday’s effort. “My body’s used to the workload,” he said.
A large percentage of my misspent youth, more than I care to admit, came and went watching doubleheaders at Candlestick Park. As Tuesday approached, it occurred to me that some of the more memorable twinbills I witnessed involved the Reds, who consistently fielded excellent teams in the 1970s. With assistance from baseball-reference.com, here are highlights I recall from various Giants-Reds doubleheaders, listed in chronological order:
Sept. 19, 1972: The Giants managed to split the doubleheader as Juan Marichal, finishing his worst season, allowed two runs in seven innings in the nightcap. That “improved” his record to 6-15. I have a vague memory of Marichal lowering his signature leg kick for that game. Whether it was to compensate for an injury or to correct a mechanical flaw (or whether it happened at all) would require more extensive research.
April 15, 1973: Cincinnati won both games. Again, Marichal’s pitching left the deepest impression, largely because he was shockingly ineffective — four earned runs allowed and eight hits in 3 2/3 innings in the opener. Meanwhile, Don Gullett pitched a four-hit shutout.
Sept. 14, 1975: The teams split, but that was hardly relevant. In the sixth inning of the first game, the Reds loaded the bases with Joe Morgan on third base. Suddenly, Morgan broke for home and slid in safely. That’s right; it was a triple steal — something I haven’t witnessed since and might never see again.
July 1, 1979: The Giants swept this one as Willie McCovey homered to help win the first game. It was the 518th of his career and, I’m quite sure, the last homer I saw him hit. I was fortunate enough to see him hit several others.
— Chris Haft
SAN FRANCISCO — After four consecutive winning seasons and two World Series titles in the last three years, the Giants have fallen from their perch alongside the Major Leagues’ elite ballclubs.
Only a dramatic reversal will enable them to finish .500 this year. As for returning to the postseason, that’s pure fantasy.
The Giants are playing without any apparent sense of urgency, perhaps because they have virtually no hope of contending in the National League West. New additions Jeff Francoeur, who reported to Triple-A Fresno, and Kensuke Tanaka might marginally improve the club’s depth. But they probably won’t accomplish more than that. Giants general manager Brian Sabean indicated to San Jose Mercury News columnist Tim Kawakami that trying to upgrade the roster with major trades is pointless, since the organization lacks the surplus of prospects necessary to engineer deals. Moreover, the team’s performance doesn’t warrant acquiring a couple of handy veterans to accelerate a push for the division title.
Nor should the Giants adopt a scorched-earth policy and gut the roster. There’s always next year, and with it a fresh opportunity to compete in the always-balanced NL West. But implementing the quick fix of free-agent signings might be complicated, because the Giants’ payroll flexibility is limited. The likely departures of impending free agent Tim Lincecum (2013 salary: $22 million) and Barry Zito ($11 million net savings, if the club declines its $18 million option on his 2014 contract and pays him a $7 million buyout) will have limited economic impact, given the raises that Buster Posey, Madison Bumgarner, Pablo Sandoval and Sergio Romo will receive.
Moreover, the potential free-agent class isn’t oozing with talent. There probably will be few helpful performers available besides Robinson Cano, Jacoby Ellsbury, Shin-Soo Choo, Brian McCann and the Giants’ own Hunter Pence. The Giants might be wise to forge a deal with Pence, the intense right fielder who seems sincere about wanting to stay here.
Or they can trade him in the next few weeks, which would mark the third year in a row for Pence to switch teams before the July 31 Trade Deadline. A critical factor here, obviously, is determining Pence’s signability.
That leads to the biggest name the Giants could jettison: Lincecum. The notion of trading the charismatic right-hander sounds almost blasphemous, given his popularity and everything he has done for the franchise. But this is a business. The Giants might be able to receive a useful prospect or two in exchange for Lincecum, who has value despite his 4.61 ERA and 1.407 WHIP. At least one American League contender has expressed interest in Lincecum as a reliever, the role he filled spectacularly in last year’s postseason. It’s not known whether that team has proposed a trade to the Giants involving Lincecum. But if one club has hatched this idea, it’s likely that at least a couple of others share that thought.
The schedule offers a shred of hope. The Giants play their first nine games at AT&T Park after the All-Star break. A strong homestand could advance San Francisco to the fringes of the division race.
But the mathematics of returning to respectability — widely defined as a .500 record — are daunting. To climb to .500 by the end of the season, the Giants must finish 41-31. That’s a winning percentage of .569, a pace the Giants haven’t come close to approaching recently. Remember, San Francisco owns the Major Leagues’ worst record (17-35) since May 14.
Reaching .500 sooner would require vast improvement. The Giants would have to win 13 of their next 16 games to climb to .500 by the end of the month. Push back the deadline to Sept. 1, Game No. 136. The Giants must go 28-18 from Thursday until then to hit the .500 level.
Next, forget the arithmetic and employ common sense. The Giants have done nothing — nothing — to indicate that they’re capable of executing such a turnaround.
Their pitching staff is no longer elite. The starting rotation has become unreliable. Matt Cain, once indomitable, is decidedly vulnerable. Nobody wants to admit that Cain is injured to some degree. If he isn’t hurt, he has forgotten how to pitch. Anybody who have followed his career know that’s not the case.
Lincecum and Zito can’t win on the road. Rookie left-hander Mike Kickham has good-looking stuff but an incomplete understanding of how to use it. Only Madison Bumgarner has maintained his excellence, and he can’t do more than pitch every fifth day.
Injuries and ineffectiveness have dulled the bullpen. The Giants miss Santiago Casilla, who hasn’t quite recovered from knee surgery. Ryan Vogelsong’s fractured right hand robbed the relief corps of Chad Gaudin, who’s in the rotation. Manager Bruce Bochy thus must rely on a group that includes rookies Jake Dunning and Sandy Rosario. Both have shown flashes of competence and could turn out to be keepers. But such inexperience does nothing for a World Series title defense.
On to the offense, or lack of it. Collectively, the Giants have misplaced the situational-hitting skills that sustained them in last year’s second half. They went 3-for-11 with runners in scoring position Tuesday, ending a 16-game stretch in which they hadn’t collected more than two hits in those instances. Overall, their .250 batting average with runners in scoring position actually places them in the top half of the NL team rankings. But it’s a sharp decrease from the .296 RISP average they compiled after last year’s All-Star break.
Individually, numerous players are is struggling to some degree. Sandoval is batting .140 (8-for-57) since returning from the disabled list. Pence is in an .098 skid (5-for-51) over his last 13 games. Gregor Blanco is in a .136 tailspin (6-for-44) spanning 12 games. Fellow outfielder Andres Torres’ past nine appearances have yielded a .154 average (4-for-26).
Monday, the Giants’ pitching excelled but the offense floundered. Tuesday, the offense improved while the pitching regressed. Wednesday, nothing went right. The Giants insist that they get along great, and that’s the way it seems when reporters are allowed in the clubhouse. But they can’t coordinate their efforts on the field.
That’s a glaring sign of a poor team. At the current rate, we’ll see more in the next couple of months.
— Chris Haft
Tuesday, July 2
CINCINNATI — Ideally, the Giants will demonstrate their championship resilience Wednesday and recover from the no-hitter Homer Bailey dealt them by thrashing the Cincinnati Reds.
In reality, it hasn’t happened that way.
The Giants lost their previous four games on days after they were no-hit. They averaged a little more than nine hits in those games, a healthy number. But the all-around performance was missing, something with which this year’s Giants are quite familiar.
It’s worth noting that one of the Giants who excelled when they last won following a no-hit defeat will be on the premises Wednesday at Great American Ball Park. On Sept. 26, 1986, the day after Houston’s Mike Scott dominated them, they downed the Dodgers, 3-0. Mike Krukow smothered L.A. on three hits through eight innings for his 19th victory. Maybe he should perform some sort of good-luck ritual before settling into the broadcast booth.
Speaking of luck, I’ve been extremely fortunate to witness five no-hitters. Of the previous four, I was a spectator at two: Ed Halicki, Aug. 24, 1975 against the Mets and Jerry Reuss, June 27, 1980 for the Dodgers over the Giants. I worked (that term “worked” is used loosely; I gladly would have paid to be at the park) the other two: Jonathan Sanchez, July 10, 2009 against San Diego and, of course, Matt Cain’s perfect game last June 13 against Houston.
I have to echo Giants manager Bruce Bochy in pronouncing Bailey’s effort the most overpowering, though Cain (14), Sanchez (11) and Halicki (10) exceeded Bailey’s total of nine strikeouts. With that 97-mph fastball, Bailey looked like a frickin’ monster.
Each one occupies a special place in my memory. Halicki’s ended with the crowd in sheer delirium, partly because the Giants weren’t very good then and we had little to cheer about. The weird thing about Reuss’ game was the unusual heat that enveloped Candlestick Park that night. The enduring images I have of Sanchez’s no-no include Aaron Rowand’s leaping catch at the center-field wall in the ninth inning and Randy Johnson, hands stuffed in his
jacket, loping toward the on-field celebration as the last Giant to leave the dugout.
I could say a lot about Cain’s perfecto, since it occurred so recently, but I’ll distill my recollections into two words: Gregor Blanco.
— Chris Haft
Thursday, May 16
DENVER — Giants shortstop Brandon Crawford displayed his Gold Glove-level skills again Thursday, making a highly difficult play on Colorado’s Charlie Blackmon to record a sixth-inning out during the Giants’ 8-6 victory over the Rockies.
Blackmon hit a low-trajectory bloop to Crawford that prompted him to break in for the ball. Suddenly he stopped and played the ball on a hop — though he had to reach for it with his bare right hand to do so. The ball very nearly skipped past him for a base hit.
Crawford grasped the ball smartly and threw out Blackmon, who has decent speed, at first base.
Asked to rank that play alongside his other examples of defensive artistry, Crawford said in his understated fashion, “It’s up there.”
He also admitted that the ball fooled him somewhat. “Off the bat I was going to catch it. I thought I was going to have time to get under it and catch it. But by the time I ‘broke down,’ [terminology for slowing up slightly to make a play — it can be baseball, football or basketball] I had to react to it. With that spin, it was kind of typical for it to bounce off to the right.”
One more Crawford tidbit, this on the Giants’ 10-game winning streak against the Rockies:
“It’s kind of weird, because they’re a good team. They have good arms and a lot of good bats, obviously. To win 10 straight on them is a pretty good accomplishment for our team.”
— Chris Haft
Early Friday, May 10
SAN FRANCISCO — Forced to work the bullpen overtime due to the starters’ inability to last deep into games, the Giants might consider adding another reliever from Triple-A Fresno before Friday night’s rematch against the Atlanta Braves.
Asked about the possibility of such a move, manager Bruce Bochy said during his postgame news conference Thursday, “Right now there’s no plans, but we’ll talk about it once I’m done here.”
With right-hander Santiago Casilla nursing a sore right knee and sidelined for at least another day or two, the Giants’ bullpen contingent is essentially a man short. George Kontos and Chad Gaudin pitched two innings apiece in Thursday’s 6-3 loss to Atlanta. Jose Mijares consumed two innings on Tuesday. And Mijares came back Thursday to pitch two-thirds of an inning, throwing more pitches in his stint (23) than Gaudin did in his much longer outing (15).
If the Giants were to add a 13th pitcher, they’d likely option outfielder Francisco Peguero back to Fresno and recall right-hander Jean Machi, who sparkled in a recent big-league stint.
Leftovers from Thursday:
— Marco Scutaro lengthened his hitting streak to nine games. He’s batting .515 (17-for-33) with eight runs scored in this stretch.
— Four of Buster Posey’s five home runs have come at AT&T Park. That contrasts with last year, when Posey amassed 17 of his 24 regular-season homers on the road.
— Giants pitchers matched a season-high with 14 strikeouts.
— Has anybody noticed how well Atlanta catcher Brian McCann hits at AT&T Park? In 23 games by the Bay, McCann’s batting .329 (28-for-85) with three home runs and 15 RBI.
— Chris Haft
Wednesday, May 1
TEMPE, Ariz. — Jeremy Affeldt threw approximately 25 pitches Wednesday morning during what appeared to be a pleasantly uneventful appearance in an extended Spring Training game.
This was expected to be Affeldt’s final step in his recovery from a strained right oblique. Assuming he continues to feel comfortable after this outing — the next day is always a critical period — the left-hander likely will be activated from the disabled list before Friday’s series opener against the Los Angeles Dodgers at AT&T Park.
Assistant athletic trainer Anthony Reyes and strength and conditioning coach Carl Kochan were present to supervise Affeldt. Neither general manager Brian Sabean nor any of his top assistants appeared to be on hand, perhaps reflecting the organization’s confidence in Affeldt’s health.
Facing a squad of Los Angeles Angels farmhands, Affeldt faced seven batters and allowed two singles, neither of which was particularly hard-hit. He coaxed four ground-ball outs and recorded one strikeout.
An amusing moment occurred when Affeldt threw a curveball to the second man he faced. The batter leaned away from the pitch to avoid being hit, but the umpire called it a strike. Staring at the umpire, the hitter exclaimed “Wow” — perhaps in disdain over the ump’s call, or possibly in amazement over the movement of Affeldt’s curve.
Afterward, Affeldt met with Reyes and Kochan for an extended conversation. The topic appeared to be Affeldt’s pitching motion and how it affected his afflicted side, judging from his pantomiming of his delivery.
— Chris Haft